Symptoms of anxiety; what they might mean

Understanding Anxiety

There is more to anxiety than just the symptoms…

We all experience anxiety to some extent, but we don't all express it the same way;

Some people withdraw and need space. Some people obsess over every detail.

Some people overthink everything. Some people get angry when instead they are anxious.

Some people feel physically weak or lightheaded. Some people eat more when anxious.

Some people lose their appetite completely. Some people try to please everyone around them.

Some people need to control their surroundings. Some people avoid situations that make them anxious.

Some people feel physically sick or throw up. Some people use humour and crack jokes to cope.

Some people clean meticulously to avoid the feeling, Some people stay in bed as they cannot face the day

Some people develop rituals to give a sense of stability, Some people cry when anxiety gets overwhelming.

This list of course is not exhaustive, a few strategies might exist alongside each other and there are many actions or behaviours that are employed to give us a sense of safety, and there is no ‘right’ way to experience anxiety.

We're all just trying our best to handle it.

And this is why I do not focus on symptoms alone

While recognising how anxiety manifests is important, focusing solely on managing these symptoms often misses the bigger picture. These reactions are just the surface level expressions of deeper fears and concerns.

When we only address the symptom, whether it's overeating, withdrawal, or people-pleasing, we're applying a temporary bandage rather than treating the wound beneath. True healing begins when we ask ourselves: ‘What is my anxiety trying to tell me?’

Behind excessive control might be a fear of uncertainty. Behind withdrawal could be a fear of judgment. Behind anger might be a feeling of vulnerability that feels too uncomfortable to acknowledge.

Our anxiety responses have developed as protection mechanisms. They once served a purpose and would have made sense in the environment in which they developed, Consider a child in a classroom struggling to understand the lesson, who turns to making jokes and seeking laughter from classmates. This response makes perfect sense as a clever avoidance strategy in that context as it redirects attention from academic challenges to social approval. However, these same protective behaviours often become less helpful or even problematic when carried forward into our adult environments and relationships.

By approaching these behaviours with curiosity instead of judgment, we can begin to understand what our anxiety is really about.

Moving Forward: Questions to Ask Yourself

When you notice your anxiety response kicking in, try asking:

• What am I actually afraid might happen right now?

• When did I first start responding this way?

• What core need isn't being met in this situation?

• What would I need to feel safe right now?

Understanding the root causes doesn't make anxiety disappear overnight, but it does give us more options. When we know what we're really afraid of, we can address those fears directly rather than getting caught in our habitual responses.

If we take a look at what is beyond the symptoms, we often find these deep-rooted beliefs, some will be more dominant for one person more than others, depending on your childhood experiences and family history and development.

The Core Beliefs That Drive Anxiety Responses

Behind the many ways we express anxiety often lie simple yet powerful core beliefs. Understanding these underlying beliefs can help us address the root causes rather than just managing symptoms.

Common Core Beliefs Behind Anxiety

1. ‘I am not safe’

• This fundamental fear can drive many anxiety responses

• May stem from past trauma or perceived threats

• Can lead to hypervigilance, control behaviours, or avoidance

2. ‘I am not good enough’

• Fuels perfectionism and people-pleasing behaviours

• Often behind obsessive thinking and overthinking

• Can manifest as fear of judgment or rejection

3. ‘I cannot handle what might happen’

• Belief in one's inability to cope with potential negative outcomes

• Drives anticipatory anxiety and catastrophic thinking

• Can lead to avoidance behaviours and physical symptoms

4. ‘I am responsible for everything’

• Excessive sense of responsibility for outcomes and others' feelings

• Can manifest as control issues and difficulty delegating

• Often leads to burnout and physical symptoms of anxiety

5. ‘I must be in control at all times’

• Fear of uncertainty and unpredictability

• Can manifest as rigid routines, compulsive behaviours, or anger when plans change

• Often tied to deeper beliefs about safety and competence

6. ‘I will be abandoned/rejected’

• Fear of being left alone or pushed away by others

• Can lead to people-pleasing, emotional dependency, or pre-emptive withdrawal

• Often connected to attachment patterns formed in childhood

7. ‘My feelings are dangerous’

• Belief that emotions (especially negative ones) are overwhelming or harmful

• Can lead to emotional suppression, substance use, or eating changes

• May manifest as physical symptoms when emotions are internalized

8. ‘The world is fundamentally threatening’

• A belief that danger is everywhere, and constant vigilance is necessary

• Can lead to chronic stress responses, difficulty relaxing, and physical symptoms

• May result in withdrawal or creating highly controlled environments

A possible example of how our early life experiences impact and shape us

How These Core Beliefs Connect to Anxiety Responses

• Withdrawal: Often driven by beliefs about rejection, inability to cope, or that the world is threatening

• Obsessing/Overthinking: Usually connected to beliefs about not being good enough or needing to prevent bad outcomes

• Anger: May stem from beliefs about control being threatened or feeling unsafe

• Physical symptoms (fainting, nausea): Often related to beliefs about inability to handle emotions or situations

• Eating changes: May connect to beliefs about control or using food to manage emotions perceived as dangerous

• People-pleasing: Typically driven by beliefs about rejection or not being good enough

• Control behaviours: Usually stem from beliefs about safety and inability to handle uncertainty

• Avoidance: Connected to beliefs about inability to cope or that certain situations are inherently threatening

• Humour/deflection: Often masks beliefs about vulnerability being dangerous or emotions being overwhelming

• Crying: May represent beliefs about being overwhelmed or unable to cope in other ways

Understanding these core beliefs doesn't immediately eliminate anxiety, but it does provide a starting point for deeper healing. By recognising and gradually challenging these beliefs, we can begin to address the root causes of our anxiety rather than just managing its many expressions.

Remember that this deeper work often benefits from professional support. A therapist can help you safely explore the underlying causes of anxiety and develop healthier ways to meet your genuine needs.

Community Support

How does YOUR anxiety show up, and have you discovered what might be underneath it? If you would like to join my mailing list for further information, support and opportunities to events, please drop me an email emma@counsellinginredditch.co.uk, I will be happy to subscribe you (you can unsubscribe at any time)